Live Laugh Love & Heartache

 I know I haven't been blogging like usual.  It has been a busy time for me.  I have written several pieces about my experience with losing Martin to Covid, I created a Facebook group for young widows and widowers of Covid-19(want to blog about that),  have been interviewed by several outlets about different aspects of my story, and I am working full-time all while raising a 2.5 year old and 1 year old.  Plus I have been busy with making sure Christmas was special for Elsie and Graeme.  I plan to get back into my blogging in the new year, but thought I would share the CafeMom essay that was published before Christmas.  I feel writing is truly healing and the fact that it has always been a passion of mine truly has helped me deal with my grief and start to heal in a healthy way.  I truly feel right now I am in a great place, and although I miss Martin, I know he is with me in everything I do and is also so proud of me.  I hold onto that and it truly does give me the strength I need

I have sat down and tried to write this what feels like a million times.   Christmas this year was unlike any other for so many families.   Many families were not gathering together like they usually do due to the ongoing pandemic and the dramatic increases in Covid cases and deaths.  Just like Thanksgiving, large gathering were still discouraged while small gatherings with people in your immediate household  were yet again being encouraged.   The most heartbreaking aspect of this Christmas is that for the first time we celebrated Christmas without Martin.   What is even worse is the fact that so many families had to celebrate the holidays without a loved one due to Covid.  As we approached Christmas, many thoughts flooded my mind.  How were we supposed to celebrate Christmas without him?  How was I going to continue our family traditions and create new ones to honor him?   Yet, at the same time as I had those questions running through my head I also knew  I wanted to make this Christm