Live Laugh Love & Heartache

 I truly believe writing has helped me process the traumatic loss I suffered at the end of April, and also helped with in the healing process.  Recently, as people continue to say how they can't wait for life to return to normal, I felt it was important to right this piece, because for so many life will never be normal again.  Here is the link to the essay I wrote for Scary Mommy.  Please feel free to read and share! https://www.scarymommy.com/lost-husband-covid-life-never-normal-again/

We are only a few days into March, and I am a bit stunned at how hard this month has been for me already.  There are so  many daily reminders of last year, when our  life was “perfect.” Martin enjoying his role as a Papa, bonding with 4 month old little Graeme.  I can vividly remember how Martin could make him giggle and smile, like crazy.  I can still picture Martin dancing around the house with Elsie and reading her books at her request because it was something she loved to do with her Papa.  Of course, the most precious memory I have is the one I captured on film, the one where Elsie and Graeme were sitting in their Papa’s lap singing “Row Row, Row Your Boat” and “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.”  That was his thing with the kids and I miss it more than words can ever describe.   Not only do I have  the happy memories of last March flooding into my mind this month, I am also still surrounded by the news of Covid because it is still here and still very serious.  It was a year ago t

I am going to start by quoting some lyrics from one of my favorite Broadway Musicals, Wicked.   Kristina definitely came into my life for a reason.  Words cannot express how grateful I am that she did come into my life at the perfect moment...when I needed her the most.  Since entering my life she has taught me so much and has played a huge role in the person that I am today.   When Martin was battling Covid, I felt so alone.  Not because I was in isolation, but because I was the only one I knew that had someone fighting Covid.  I cannot tell you how hard that was for me.  When Martin lost his life to Covid, that feeling of loneliness only intensified.  I truly felt that I was the only young person with young kids going through this type of loss.  I believed that no one would ever truly understand the emotional rollercoaster I went through the 26 days he fought for his life in the hospital.  I thought no-one would ever understand  the indescribable pain that I felt because I didn't