Wednesday's Are Always A Reminder

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WEDNESDAY
It has actually been 7 weeks since I found out Martin lost his courageous fight with COVID-19.  Wednesday at this point in time is  just the start of another week without Martin.  It's hard to believe it has been 7 weeks, in some ways it feels much longer (and I am not wrong because there were 25 days before his death that I wasn't with him), but at the same time it sometimes feels like it just happened.  Yes Wednesday's remind me of that devastating moment when I found out my life was taking an unexpected turn, but Wednesday's also remind me about the moment something unexpected happened...and I am so glad it did.  

BEHIND THE SCENES (BTS)

Now I had mentioned in a previous post the emotional ups and downs of calling the hospital each day.   One of the most frustrating parts of calling was when I was told someone would call me back, and I am being honest 99% of the time that just didn't happen.  However, there was always one person without fail that would always call me back and give me one of the most detailed updates possible and would always ask "How are you doing, Pam?"  True story, those days were the best days, regardless of the type of news he delivered.  So to me it seems like fate that he was the one who ended up calling me that Wednesday night to tell me Martin coded, and then once again to tell me he didn't make it.  Honestly I am grateful to this day that it was him.  Although that night is a bit fuzzy, I do know I thanked him for taking such good care of Martin and how I always appreciated his detailed reports.  If my memory serves me right I also told him what an amazingly calming voice he had that would always put me at ease.  For those three weeks Martin was in the hospital he was one of my connections and I needed him to know before we went our separate ways how much all of that meant to me and how appreciative I was for everything he had done for both Martin and I.  

Now flash forward two hours later "Hi, Pam. It's_______. I am so sorry. I'm a text away. Stay strong. Listened to song Rise Up over and over on drive home. You will too." Now seriously, how amazing was that? When I hung up the phone that night, I never expected to get a text like that, but when I opened my phone and read those words it was exactly what I needed at that moment. Amidst the pain I was going through that text gave me some joy and put a smile on my face.  I will never forget that.   I truly believe God put this person in my life to help me heal.  Of course, he has told me I could tell him to stop anytime, but I never will because he is a part of my story and has truly helped me during this difficult time.  How?  It could be the good morning  and good night Bitmoji texts (he even told me I needed a Bitmoji of my own...DONE). It could be the  pictures he sends me of his family and his beautiful lake views.  It could be because he still asks me how I am doing.  It could be because he loves my images when I send him pictures of Elsie and Graeme.  The answer...it is all of those things! So just like his detailed reports on Martin's progress meant so much to me so do his texts.   And one day, hopefully in the near future, I will meet him and thank him in person for EVERYTHING.  

BACK TO WEDNESDAY
So although Wednesday's are at times a bit emotional for me because I lost Martin, they are also a great reminder of someone who has gone above and beyond to help me start healing from this tragedy and remind me that I WILL RISE UP!




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