Now Forever Always (NFA)

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I love  browsing quotes because I find many of them so inspirational and right now that is without a doubt something that I need. I also feel that some quotes just have that power to make you feel better about your situation.  Sometimes when I read quotes I feel like my heart lightens up and there is that hope and joy that life will get easier at some point.  The other day while I was reading  quotes I came across a quote on Marty Tousley's Pinterest board and it resonated with me immediately.  It expressed exactly how I fell at times throughout the day when I think about Martin and start to miss him.

"I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you.  And then I realized...you spent the rest of your life with me.  I smile because I know you loved me till the day you went away.  And will keep loving me...till the day we're together again."

True story I wanted forever with Martin, but he did get forever with me.  I know he loved me deeply until his last breath.  I remember our FaceTime calls when he was in the hospital and remembering him trying to talk to me, I know he wanted to say "I love you, NFA," but he just physically couldn't.  In reality he didn't have to because I could see it in his eyes, I could see it in the way he tried so hard to speak when he heard me talking to him, I could see it when he heard my voice and just looked at the phone, and I could see it when he heard my voice for the last time and squeezed the nurses hand so she could tell me that he loved me.  So he truly did love me and I truly loved him, and this grief I face is all because of the love I had for him( I also know as time passes the grief will lessen, but my love for him never will). Martin will love me until we meet again and until that day he will always have a huge place in my heart, and that place will never go away no matter what happens in life.  He is a part of my heart NFA.  

"I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you.  And then I realized...you spent the rest of your life with me.  I smile because I know you loved me till the day you went away.  And will keep loving me...till the day we're together again."


Love you 
NFA


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