A lot has happened in the past few weeks. I had three different interviews where I was able to share Martin's incredible story. Each interview highlighted a different aspect of Martin. Martin the husband and father. Martin the healthcare worker. Martin and our Covid-19 experience and the impact it has had on our family. It was actually the first time I truly talked about what happened to our family from the moment Martin started with a cough until the moment I found out that he had died. I have to say I didn't get as emotional as I thought, and I guess in some ways I felt sharing the events from March 22nd to April 29th was healing. Honestly I had blocked out many of those moments because I just didn't want to think about them, but now almost five months later I have thought about them more and more each day. Sometimes when I think about all that has happened it makes me breakdown and cry, sometimes I just get so mad that I want to scream, and other times I just get lost deep in thought and find myself reminding myself that this is all happening because God has a plan.
One question was asked in all three interviews: What do you miss most about Martin? I find that is one of the hardest questions to answer. There is just so much to miss about him. But one thing I truly do miss the most are his texts throughout the day. I sometimes find myself waiting for an "I love you so much" or "You're amazing" text that never comes. When I take a cute picture of Elsie or Graeme, I actually sometimes find myself for a brief second wanting to send it to Martin like I always did. I know how he would respond "Awwww, they are amazing! " He is totally right about that. But, even though I miss his texts there is just so much more I miss about him and there is this huge void in my life because all the amazing things about Martin are now only memories. Little surprises, relaxing together watching TV, sports talk, future talk, Elsie and Graeme talk, his supportive and encouraging ways, his hugs and kisses, watching him play with Elsie and Graeme, his infectious laugh and smile, all of those things are just memories. I am so grateful I have those memories, but knowing that that is all they will ever be from this moment on creates that missing piece in my heart.
I am so grateful that I have had opportunities to share our story. I will always feel Martin's story is important. He was young and healthy, he was an amazing Papa and husband, he was a passionate and dedicated speech pathologist, he was a brave healthcare worker who lost his life way too soon because of this virus, and most importantly he is and forever will be our hero.
Two artists also drew two touching and absolutely amazing portraits of Martin to honor his life and legacy.
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