Thankful Grateful and Blessed

This year, Thanksgiving was unlike any other.  Families were not together like they usually are due to the ongoing pandemic and the dramatic increases in Covid cases and deaths.  Large gatherings were discouraged while small gatherings with people in your immediate household were encouraged.   The most heartbreaking aspect of this Thanksgiving was that many families had an empty chair at the Thanksgiving table for the first time because someone they loved lost their life to Covid. 

This year I didn't travel to Massachusetts like I usually do.  This year we didn't have a larger gathering, instead I spent the day with my mom, Elsie, and Graeme.  This year we had an empty chair at our table for the first time, because Martin lost his life to Covid earlier this year.  

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday and this Thanksgiving I truly reflected on the many reasons I am both thankful and blessed.  I am blessed to have Elsie and Graeme.  I am thankful for the love and support my family has given me since Martin first got sick.  I am thankful for the many new people that have walked into my life because of the tragedy I have experienced.  I am grateful that people from my past have come back into my life.  And I feel most importantly, I am beyond blessed to have had Martin in my life for 6.5 years.  When I think about Martin's life and his death I know one thing is for certain they both had a huge impact on the person that I am today. He taught me so much in the time we were together, and helped me grow as a person.  His death impacted me in a profound way, and I am truly not the same person I was seven months ago.  Because I love Martin so much, and always will, I have been adamant about  sharing our story and trying to help others understand what it is like to lose someone to Covid.  I also share my to try and help others that have suffered a loss like mine heal and realize that they are not alone in this.  Using my tragedy to help others has given me a true purpose, and has given me both strength and courage that I never knew was in me.  Martin is my inspiration, and I tell him every time I am missing him that "I am going to do great things" and I think I have and it is all because of him.  Even in death he continues to help me grow as a person, and I will always be thankful for that.

Last night, I was given the opportunity to share my story on a Podcast called COVIDCalls.  When I received a message from Scott Knowles about joining him on one of his calls to discuss Martin, I jumped at the opportunity.  I feel so fortunate that people have taken interest in my story. The fact that my strength and courage are being acknowledged is truly incredible.  I will be honest, being able to share our story with so many, has truly helped me on this difficult journey of healing.  I cannot feel anything but blessed. 

 Yes, a chair was empty at our table, but the love, joy, and thankfulness were all present, because Martin was and will always be a part of us no matter what.